Unpaid Carer Burnout
Carers are always on the go, trying to stay one step ahead of an ever expanding list of day-to-day tasks. For unpaid caregivers, the level of work can sometimes feel overwhelming. The added emotional pressures of looking after a loved one can cause stress that can build and ultimately lead to burnout, which can manifest in many ways – depression, anger, isolation, despair – all of which are damaging to the carer and the person they’re responsible for.
This isn’t a problem being faced by a small minority. The number of unpaid caregivers has doubled since the 2011 census, when around 5.6 million adult carers were recorded. Figures from Carers UK puts that number at 10.58 million in 2022: that’s roughly one in five adults. Despite this, there is still very limited support for individuals from the government or employers, adding to the sense that unpaid carers are on their own.
Prevention of burnout
Carer burnout can leave you feeling drained, muddled and unable to cope. But there are things you can do to help alleviate the pressure. At Promedica24, we frequently work alongside brilliant unpaid carers and have learned a lot from them.
Karen (48) cares for her father Richard (73). “I was working a full time job and had teenage children when Dad was diagnosed with dementia. I’m a single mum and both my siblings live abroad, so I naturally fell into the role of helping Dad. It was just popping in a few times a week at first, and we actually grew a lot closer. But dementia is something that creeps up on you, and I soon realised that Dad was going to need somebody there everyday. For a long time I carried on by myself, trying to juggle everything. But it wasn’t sustainable – cracks quickly began to appear.”
For Karen, those cracks weren’t even visible at first. She felt tired constantly, eating food on the go and picking up every illness going. “I felt pretty grim most of the time. Really irritable and snappy with my kids and even Dad.” Things reached a head last year after Richard was diagnosed with lung cancer. “Everything went into overdrive with hospital visits and medication, and I hit a wall. I needed help but didn’t know where to look for it. I felt so isolated.”
Signs of burnout
Recognising when you are on the path to burnout isn’t always obvious. Stress feels like it goes with the territory and is something you just need to deal with. But take a step back and do a quick mental audit and you’ll soon realise this isn’t sustainable.
1. Mental health
Are you feeling detached, or numb to things that would normally engage you? Do smaller problems bother you, making it hard to move on? Is your mind constantly in overdrive, full of a to do list of things and looking out for signs of problems to come?
2. Physical health
Have your eating habits taken a nosedive – snacking when you can or skipping meals altogether instead of enjoying a healthy diet? Do you reach for a quick hit instead, finding instantaneous gratification in a bar of Dairy Milk or the odd sneaky cigarette? It’s all likely to contribute to feelings of physical exhaustion and increase the likelihood of becoming ill.
3. Self care
Putting the needs of the person you’re caring for ahead of your own and letting the basics of personal care slip can put you into a stress cycle that can cause low self esteem. Are you avoiding social situations or dropping out of activities that used to bring you happiness? You may be suffering from ‘carer guilt’ by believing you are neglecting your duties.
How to avoid hitting rock bottom
“It wasn’t until I realised that I wasn’t caring properly for Dad that it hit home how low I was feeling,” Karen remembers. “My best friend persuaded me to seek help, so I made an appointment with my GP who put me in touch with the mental health charity MIND. I was also contacted by social services who were brilliant. The local authority has a duty of care to unpaid carers and our social worker helped me to arrange care for my father which really helped me start to get on top of my problems.”
Karen has now taken a step back from full time care, and is able to call on friends and other family members for help. “It’s been amazing – people just rallied around me and we’ve got a timetable of people, both professional and unpaid to help with my Dad’s needs.”
Karen was keen that her father remain in the family home rather than move to a care home, so during her recovery she employed one of Promedica24’s live-in carers to provide respite care. “I thought I’d be waiting months to find somebody I trusted to help with Dad, but the Promedica24 team were able to find the right person within a matter of weeks.” You can find out more about the process of finding a live-in carer in this blog post.
Recovering from the effects of burnout
Karen now recognises that she needs to be realistic about how much she can do by herself. She’s looked back at her path to burnout and has made a list of the things that brought her to the brink. She now recognises that firefighting isn’t enough, she needs to treat the causes, something that is an ongoing piece of work.
“I’m eating better, sleeping better and am generally just more organised,” she told us. “As well as feeling more able to cope with stressful situations, I’m finding day to day caring has got a lot easier. Being with Dad now feels far less stressful and it’s a much more positive relationship. Even though I know he’s not going to recover, I feel better equipped to deal with what’s to come.”
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