The Importance of Festive Traditions for People living with Dementia
As we head into the holiday season, it can be easy to concentrate on the twinkly lights, the abundance of mulled wine and the smiles on the children’s faces. But it’s important not to forget that for people with dementia, Christmas can throw up a number of challenges.
If you have a family member or loved one, or you’re caring for a person with dementia, there are things you can do to help. Put some thought into how you can make their life and everyday activities just a little bit easier before the festive chaos ensues.
Why is Christmas a difficult time when you’re living with dementia?
Due to its very nature, Christmas, like any other cultural or religious celebration is a time of noise, laughter and song. It’s a time of gathering together to share a large meal. Of children running around after eating too much sugar. Of giving and receiving gifts.
But when you’re living with dementia, particularly the later stages of dementia, being a part of a family Christmas can feel overwhelming. If you’re taken to a friend or relative’s house, you may be expected to navigate a space you don’t recognise and talk to lot of people you don’t remember. You might feel confused about where you are and what you’re supposed to do.
Eating with a loud and noisy group might be distracting, particularly if you’re not comfortable with the food you’re being served. Meanwhile, party games and childish excitement might leave you feeling irritable, anxious and ready to go home long before your lift arrives.
There are of course a wide range of reactions a person with dementia may have to these chaotic festivities, so perhaps the first thing for a loved one of carer is to simple be aware and to observe how they’re doing.
Understanding how to help your loved one feel more at home
Living with dementia can be lonely. We often describe memory loss like a bookcase. Where the older, longer-term memories are on the bottom of the case, stable and secure, while newer memories are stacked towards the top. As the bookcase begins to shake, it’s those newer memories that fall off first. And what remains is a state of confusion and disorientation.
Of course this is a simplified version of events and there is a lot more to it. But the bookcase analogy helps to illustrate the fact that even though the memory is beginning to fail, it’s the older memories, those of childhood, youth and first loves that tend to remain the longest.
Using tradition as a comforter
One relatively simple way to help your loved one with dementia to feel more settled and less anxious in less than familiar surroundings is to help support them in triggering those fond memories.
This might involve playing some of the music that Dad used to play at Christmas when you were all much younger. It might mean digging out that battered old Bagatelle board and taking it for a spin like the ‘olden days’ or it might even mean cooking the turkey exactly like your mum used to do it to invoke familiar smells and tastes.
Explore familiar Christmas ornaments, choosing those that have been handed down, placing them into your loved one’s hands so they remember once decorating the tree themself. And if you have old photo albums, take a quiet moment to leaf through them together, talking and asking about old relatives in the pictures and the happy times they represent.
The traditions you turn to don’t have to be big things. Just a selection of little touches that will trigger positive memories of times that have gone before. If you are able, perhaps create a happy memory box of family photographs and items that will allow for meaningful engagement when you look through it together.
Building a sense of safety
You’ll notice that as your loved one enjoys those rekindled memories, they’ll begin to appear less anxious and noticeably more relaxed. And they’ll feel safer in those new surroundings that felt so unfamiliar to start with.
Spending time offering one to one support or person-centred care for a person with dementia can help to counteract those negative feelings brought on by the change in routine that the holidays bring.
And this isn’t only about Christmas
It’s not just during the festive season that you’ll benefit from building and revisiting familiar traditions and habits. This technique can be used anywhere that it becomes important to help someone living with dementia to find a sense of safety, calm and connection with family.
In fact, as part of our introductions when we’re getting to know new care recipients, our Care Managers will spend time talking to them about their favourite social activities and traditions. And they’ll talk to family members too.
That’s because we understand how important it is to try to keep those routines and habits going wherever possible. To make sure that despite living with dementia they are able to feel safe, secure and happy in their own home for as long as possible.
What meaningful family rituals can you come up with to help your loved one with dementia to find peace among the Christmas chaos this year?
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