How do I explain dementia to my child?
Talking to a young child about dementia can feel daunting. As a progressive condition that affects memory and thinking, dementia can change the way a loved one behaves. Children may notice these changes and feel confused or even upset. By using simple language, clear examples, and plenty of reassurance, parents and carers can help children understand what’s happening in a way that feels safe and supportive.
What is Dementia? A Child-Friendly Explanation
Dementia is a condition that affects how a person’s brain works. You might explain it to a child by saying that their loved one has an illness in their brain that makes it harder for them to remember things. Sometimes they forget names, or where they put their belongings. It’s not something that can be passed on like a cold, and although there is no cure, there are ways to help them feel happy and loved. Using simple comparisons can also help. You might describe dementia as being like a puzzle where some pieces are missing, making it harder to see the full picture.
Answering Common Questions from Children
Children are naturally curious and may ask why their loved one forgets things, whether they will get better, or if they did something wrong. It’s important to answer honestly but gently. You can explain that dementia isn’t like a cold and won’t go away, but doctors and carers work hard to keep people comfortable. If they ask why a loved one remembers things from long ago but not recent events, you can say that dementia affects the most recent memories first, while older ones sometimes stay clearer for longer. Reassure them that dementia is nobody’s fault—it happens because of changes in the brain, not because of anything they or their loved one did.
Helping a Child Cope with Changes
It can be upsetting for a child to see a family member behave differently. Encouraging them to talk about their feelings and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel sad or confused can be helpful. Even if their loved one forgets names or events, the connection between them still matters. Looking at old photos, singing songs together, or simply spending quiet time side by side can bring comfort. Small acts of kindness, like holding hands or offering a smile, can make a big difference in maintaining a meaningful bond.
Using Books and Stories to Support
Stories can help young minds process complex topics in a way that feels familiar and safe. Books like The Forgetful Elephant by Irene Mackay or Nanny Can’t Remember by Tabatha Troup introduce dementia in a gentle, relatable way. Reading together can provide an opportunity to discuss emotions and answer questions.
Creating Positive Interactions
While dementia presents challenges, children can still enjoy time with their loved ones by focusing on activities that don’t rely on memory. Listening to music, watching a favourite film, baking simple recipes, or spending time with pets can all create moments of joy. These shared experiences reinforce the idea that love and connection remain, even as memories fade.
Reassuring and Supporting Your Child
A child’s love and kindness can make a meaningful difference in their loved one’s life, even if words or memories fade.
Children take emotional cues from the adults around them. If they see you responding with patience and kindness, they are more likely to do the same. Let them know they can always talk to you about their feelings, and remind them that even if their loved one forgets names or past events, the love between them is still there. Encouraging patience and compassion will help them build resilience and strengthen their understanding of what it means to care for someone facing dementia.
For more information about dementia care options, click here or contact your local Care Consultant.
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